Vallenfyre - Splinters

Vallenfyre Splinters cover
Century Media
There are bands that have a certain reason to exist and others that don’t. Vallenfyre belong to the second case. They were created by Greg Mackintosh (Paradise Lost) so as to play the music he used to play with Paradise Lost in the late 80s/early 90s. Totally weird as according to what the guys said sometime in the past, they had grown up and evolved through the years so that’s why they changed their style! Huh! Gotch ya! Now I bet they say that they follow their hearts and play the music they like and that’s the “neo-retro” progression! Well if I got it right… this can be called a backwards evolution! You go back to play the music you used to play as a mindless and amateur musician; you grow up, evolve (you change your music style) and then leave it all behind and return to your roots!!! Hooray!!
Along with Greg with have the drummer Adrian Erlandsson (Paradise Lost, At The Gates, etc.), the guitarist Hamish Hamilton Glencross (ex-My Dying Bride) and the bassist Scoot (Alehammer, Extinction of Mankind, Hellkrusher, etc.). Greg’s vocal sound is like a blood vomiting groggy zombie in the countryside! Pathetic and so generic. Thank God he never tried to sing in Paradise Lost! The production is OK but also “outdated” cuz it’s “trendy” nowadays.
The music can be simply described as being tragic! Old-school death metal along with doom metal elements. Bland riffs, bad vocals & weak ideas in general. I’m sure some of these songs never made it to Paradise Lost and it’s obvious why! Seriously if it weren’t for Greg, Adrian, Hamish and Scoot none would have given a shit about this boring and uninspired band. But you see things are different – especially when a major label supports them. So when this “old joke” is over, some of you might wonder. Probably soon enough cuz’ seriously there’s not a friggin’ reason to go on. The whole thing is so freakin’ tedious, tiresome, monotonous, dull and overdone that the sooner it is over the better it will be… be sure that this band will be forgotten very fast too! Along comes the lousy “evil” cover artwork! Stop wasting our time and b@sting our ballz with awful releases like this one… next album please…