Bon Jovi - What About Now

Bon Jovi
What About Now
Island Records
Yeah Jon – What about it?!
Bon Jovi return after a few, four I believe, years, since their last studio effort that were only otherwise creatively signified, by the release of another 4 new songs, on a rather UN-necessary best of release, that was more, or less put out, to mount a tour, and not the other way around and were abysmal at best.
Jon insisted to tarnish his already tired voice, by trying to pull 3 hour voices as if he’s Springsteen, when it’s clear that he can’t even last more than 30 minutes without going sort of breath. Hence, he’s largely relying on correction software here and it’s painfully audible unfortunately, to the trained ear.
“Because We Can” is one of the better, selections on the album, at the absence of a better one?! It’s the most anthemic song on the album, but the worst anthem, that BJ has ever done, if you catch my drift. From here things go mostly down, faith-hill to the new country, where Jon thinks he might be able to sell a few more copies to lovely hickey folk!
“I’m With You” is a passable modern soft rock ballad, which would be totally forgettable if there wasn’t some cool guitar to bolster it up around 2:30.
“What About Now” tries to be the sort of “Springsteen” or “BJ” socially conscious anthem ala “work for the working man”, etc… It’s mediocre at best or, I suppose too formulaic and it ends up sounding tired.
“Pictures of You” tries, hard to be an epic love ballad, but I’m guessing it’s just sounding a little too... I dunno... half familiar, too pretentious , a little lovely... it ends up being a little overambitious for its own good I guess.
“Amen” is the bizarre sort of song, that you know could later, help the actor Bon Jovi, become involved into politics… and become a senator in maybe 20-25 years... yikes ... !
“That’s What the Water Made Me” I’d suppose is a song about a sailor? Or something similar! Weird !?
“What’s Left of Me” is another one of those “weepy” why were the jobs outsourced to the Chinese and taken from the hardworking Americans. Because you’re “piping it up” for Capitalism Jon-ny Boy! Don’t pretend not to know what you’re selling to them “Adolescent” “Kids at Heart”… even if you’re singing about T & G - you’re supporting big corporations! So.... don’t go all socialist on our asses.... it’s just a pretence I guess. I could talk about socialism too all day, if I were a millionaire rockstar...!
“Army of One” is another one of this anthemic “1-2’s I’m a soldier” “hey’ oh” “Never give up, never give in…” type of song, but it’s sung with so little conviction, that it ends up not convincing anyone really. Maybe if it was like a whole stadium of voices, singing in unison, at the chorus, I guess, things might have been different, but then I guess it would defeat the purpose of being an “army of one” eh?! Well it kinda sucks... but it’s a goddamn boring tune, if not for some nice guitar noodling, courtesy of Sambora. And  if the “great” Desmond Child had his hand in this one, and couldn't come up with anything better, well what can I say...? Oh dear… obviously… the whole album was a little doomed from the start.
“Thick as Thieves” is another one of those laid back, boring as hell, going nowhere songs... It bored the hell out of me. It has some fake crescendos, for sure, but I was SO yawning for it to be over… that my jaw almost hurt. I mean... there's  a nice melody around the 4th minute, but it’s probably, a repetition of some older BJ hook, for f$##@ sake... and I’m hardly ever wrong with that kinda thing, so don't even make me look it up, cause it might end up being embarashing for the band.
“Beautiful World” is another modern rocker with a generic riff, but it’s just that. Generic.
“Room at the End of The World” has a bit of a WTF title, but a half decent melody, but is not really going anywhere. It’s just a loungy, homogenized, boring piece that doesn’t rock, plain and simple. It’s not even pop perfect, or edited properly for a bar... it’s in such a messed up state, that it’s just like a drunk geezer that doesn’t know what he wants to do. To rock or not to rock? That’s the question! It ends up sucking! (Quite badly!)
“The Fighter” is I suppose the “hangover” blues... a beautiful acoustic ballad that works really well.
Now… with only the first and the last songs being really memorable and maybe 2-3 songs in between that you’d remember, or care to remember the album is a horrible mess and amongst the worse, if not the worst that Bon Jovi have ever released. Maybe they should call it a day. Go to the country and sing to cows. Cause if you want to rock, you still have to have a certain drive and well that certain fire, seems extinguished in the “Bleeding Heart” of Bon Jovi... ever since the release of “Have a Nice Day”? So why not call it a Day BJ?! Or prove us wrong!